It can be challenging to prioritize, much less actually follow through with taking care of yourself. Isn't that crazy to say: I don't have time to take care of myself. I'm a mother, a CEO, a volunteer, a partner: I'm all these things, that require ALL of my time. 

Sometimes this topic is blown off as a fluffy, feminine issue. It isn't. It's important. Manicures are sanity. Talking about all the crap that happened at the last parent teacher conference over coffee with our girlfriends is detrimental to our peace of mind. 

 

While men don't often get manicures or pedicures or schedule coffee chats with friends. They are doing it in other ways, maybe they just don't stand out as self-care, but they find their ways just like we do. We all need rest. Both men and women, need to make sure they are protecting their peace and restoring their energy. This is taking care of ourselves. 

 

When we don't take care of ourselves, we put ourselves in a position of vulnerability Our stress leaving us in little control of our emotions and putting us right on the highway to burn out.

While our self-care actions might not hit our top 10 list for today's priorities, it is time for it to start making the list!

But before we make a list of "ideals," you will need to understand what self-care means for you. Here's how I found myself spiraling down the road of burnout and BIG health concerns.  

 

Understanding Self Care For Women Who Enjoy Being Busy

I'm a Working Mom Who Enjoys Being Busy, Sometimes Self Care is Hard to Define.

 

For years my friends and family have chided me for burning the candle at both ends wanting me to take better care of myself. At times it was hard to understand what that meant.

 

I knew I was busy, but I was doing things that were important to me, that I loved, and that's what I found energy and space for.

 

My friends and family would say for me to make space in my life for downtime, but I felt confused about what was I supposed to be doing. I couldn't see myself sitting at home reading a book for 3 hours or even a single hour, or taking a whole day to go for a hike while still trying to do the hobbies I enjoyed "working/ getting myself together."

 

It felt like an oxymoron: "Relax and take care of yourself," but then I would need to work in time to schedule a massage. That feels hectic, trying to make room in order to take time off, it was stressful. I still had deadlines approaching.

 

Usually, I would answer, "I am fine, I don't need to take a day off this week, I feel great." I had some some small self-care acts scheduled into my day (a good cup of coffee, a video call with a friend) and felt plenty energized despite my business, but I knew I was not really taking care of myself. 

 

Unaligned Mind-Body Connection Lead Me To Burnout 

What finally got my attention, was when my body couldn't quite keep up with me in the same way that it used to. After my second daughter was born I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Hypothyroid.

 

Symptoms are supposed to include tiredness, brain fog, body aches, etc. I thought, "What's new? You just have to push through it." The diagnosis really didn't change anything.

 

I didn't think anything had really changed, except now my friends and family were even even more concerned. They wanted me to slow down and take care of myself. I didn't. Medical diagnoses sound scarier than they are, I thought. My mind and body were so misaligned. 

 

At the root of it all, I enjoyed being a working mom; so I continued my volunteer work, my two jobs, and of course self-care fell to the back of my routine. Then, I hit my 40s. While I was enjoying everything I was doing, I found a good amount of stress was coming along with the low margin of self-care I had allowed myself.

 

The combination of the stress and my Hashimoto's Hypothyroid condition, lead to developments in my anxiety I hadn't expected, I started to have panic attacks. This got my attention.

 

 

Realizing I Need To Change

I tried this new challenge, and started mediation, it came with some unexpected side effects. I went back to working out, meditating, journaling, making quiet time in my schedule, etc.

 

I started to notice the activities of those who were getting older in years but looked young vs. those who were the same age that looked old.

 

This is when I started considering how my: "all business, no play attitude," had definitely helped me get a lot done, but had also significantly added to my stress load. I'd compromised my health, my physical body, and give myself some pretty scary bouts with anxiety. It was a ripple effect. 

How You Can Change Your Life And Still be Kick A** Working Moms

So maybe you are in denial still about self-care, maybe you have people telling you that you need to slow down, or you are starting to recognize the importance of self-care. But you're here reading this article, so you must be ready for some sort of change in your life. Maybe you want to be able to offer more of yourself to your children, or you want to take back parts of time for yourself. 

 

I believe everyone needs to take care of their body, mind, and spirit. We only have one body, one family. We need to protect it. 

 

Speaking to you as someone who recognizes your struggle between your passion for your work as a 'on-the-go mover and shaker', you especially need to take care of yourself. It might not feel so important right now, but you will reach a burnout, and the impact will stay with you. We don't get a free pass just because we enjoy the work. Our bodies need moments of calm. 

 

You connect with a lot of people in your life (family or friends) and through your work (potential clients, peers) and you have an impact on everyone you meet. How you take care of yourself when you're away from everyone is going to impact them, it's going to help you cultivate lasting relationships. Most of all it's going to seal the deal on a long and healthy life. 

 

So, how do you do it?

 

Getting My Anxiety and Burnout Under Control As a Working Mom and Empowered Woman

 The Fundamentals.

The fundamentals are those things that contribute to your on-going sustainability.

 

When we are healthy and young we can easily take advantage of this health and get away with not doing the fundamentals. Here's a newsflash: the more we age, the more we're going to see a big impact on our actual appearance not just our mental endurance. 

 

Just look at the amazing shape of those around you who took the time to take care of them first. Better yet, picture your young ones burning the candle at both ends when they grow up because that's what they learned by watching you.

 

Health research says to engrave these wellness fundamentals into your everyday life, (and this is also how I starting getting back control of my health):

 

1. SLEEP. Don't cheat yourself. You need 8 hours. 
2. MOVE. Even a daily walk is better than nothing. Get a pedometer. Do 10K steps.

3. Get outside (I lived in MN, I know how hard it can be when it's not ideal weather.) 
4. WATER. Drinking your body weight in water is ideal, but for some of us, just MORE water is a win. Add lemon wedges or whatever helps you get as much as possible every day. 
5. GREENS. Eat more veggies and greens (kale, spinach, etc.). Honestly, the good greens are tough for me but the more often you add them to your diet, the easier it gets. You adapt, humans are built for adapting.
6. ANTIOXIDANTS. Either with good foods (turmeric, cinnamon, oregano, blueberries, nuts, etc.) or a great supplement. 
7. BREATHE. Whether classic meditation or just 10 deep breaths a day, increase your moments to relax, de-stress, and fill your body with oxygen.

Restoring your Body, Mind, and Spirit.

I believe there is a difference between the self-care checklist and learning to listen to my inner self and intuition for self-care.

A checklist might be used to help give ideas, get you started, or let you experience different options of what might truly be needed. Deeper self-care is not about being a slave to a checklist, rather answering the calling of the inner self. For example, if you are thirsty, the body needs water. You could look at the menu of drinks: soda, tea, coffee, juice, water... but you know what your body really needs: YOU, to make good choices for it. And water. Of course.

Listen to your body, you know that if you drink the other options you will still be thirsty. You know that just calling your best friend will never replace a much needed girls weekend. 

Learn how to listen to your spirit. Hear what your body, mind, and spirit is asking for: healing time and good choices, that empower you. An empowered you is an empowered family, an empowered life. 

 

 

 

 

 

BCRX Guest Blog Contributor, Christie Geiger ( SELF CARE FOR BUSY MOVERS & SHAKERS, Nov. 2019)

 

Edited by BCRX ( May 2020, for Mothers Day)