If you’re frantically going on dates hoping to put the cuffs on someone before the first holiday of the season, pause. Now, that may be challenging because 70 percent of singles are looking for someone to keep them warm during the winter months, but most don’t make it through the holiday stress. The most common day for the big “B” is December 11th.
—Honestly, which of you really wants to spend the holiday crying over a pint and bitterly watching an overly cheerful Christmas movie? Also, really think about if Christmas of 20XX should forever be associated with impromptu ex-boyfriend number three.
To keep it short: Going into the holidays as a new couple may seem cutesy, but if you don’t have to rush it, refrain.
Reasons You Most Definitely Can’t Use To Validate Your Recent, Overwhelming Urge To Have A Partner:
- Your best friends: John, Jesse, Mary, and Sandra, are all in new and exciting relationships. (Good for them, but do you have other goals right now?)
- The holidays are infectious, and you want someone to share the joy with. (Take your bestie on a dinner date—itch, *almost* scratched.)
- Ummm...baby, it’s cold [and very, very dark] outside. (Buy a mood/sun lamp. Seasonal depression is a thing.)
Keep in mind as the holidays approach, your life is still happening— don’t interrupt the journey to rush into a relationship because of social pressure. Although, of course, you can still date as your healing (or working toward goals.)
A good question to ask before dating is if you’ve established personal boundaries.
Interestingly enough, a study found 90 percent of relationships formed before the age of 30 don’t last— of course, there’s the other 10 percent. But the point is everyone could be the 10 percent if they do the work to transform themselves into the kind of partner they’d want.
But let’s not dwell on who to take home for the holidays or failing relationships. This is a great time to fall in love with yourself, just like any other time of the year. Use this time to strengthen ties with your friends, treat yourself, *not spend $150 on a present for a new love interest,* and be peaceful.
Spending the Holidays Without a Partner is Not Sad; it’s Liberating.
Contrary to popular belief, if you’re looking to take a dating detox, this is precisely the time to do it. First, let go of any limiting beliefs that you’re only successful if you have a partner to share your success with. It's not true, you are so much more than someone else's validation.
8 Reasons being Single is Liberating:
- Time for self-reflection.
- Time for self-growth.
- A better and clearer memory.
- Time to form clear ideas about your life direction.
- Less potential trauma to work through.
- More freedom to experience life and yourself.
- You may be less critical of yourself.
- You gain the ability to be whimsical with your plans.
Most people shift their focus from coupledom to self-growth as the new year approaches anyways; why not turn your focus there now? Get a head start. As we all know, relationships can be stressful. The holidays don’t guarantee existing stressors will suddenly disappear in a puff of holiday cheer.
Who do you need to be to attract the partner you really want?