3 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE IN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF
We’ll never forget that iconic final scene of Sex and the City in which Carrie says, “The most challenging, exciting and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
We couldn’t agree more with those sentiments, and as we enter the Winter months preparing to be inundated with all things romance (or lack thereof), we thought it might be helpful to take a beat to evaluate the most important relationship of all—the one we have with ourselves. Here, eight signs you’re in a healthy relationship with you, as well as tips for improving areas where your self-love lacks.
- You Use Social Media to Share—Not Validate
Here's the difference: When you're in a good place with yourself, you're sharing to connect with others. When you're in a not-so-good place, you use social media to seek out validation, compare yourself with others in ways that aren't healthy or prove something to people whose opinions shouldn't actually matter.
Self-love tip: Before posting anything, evaluate your motive. If it's a moment you want to share and remember, post away. If you're posting so your ex-boyfriend will feel bad about dumping you, or because you don't feel pretty today and want a bunch of friends to comment otherwise on your photo, hold off.
- You Practice Self-Care
When you love someone, you naturally want to take care of them, whether it's through cooking, massages, lending a sympathetic ear or helping out financially. For some reason, we don't always pay ourselves the same courtesy. Caring for yourself, whatever that means for you—adequate sleep, beauty and spa treatments, quiet time, exercise—is a sure sign you're in a good relationship with you.
Self-love tip: Treat yourself to something that feels indulgent at least once a week, even if it's just a $3 sheet mask and a hot bath.
- You're Sex-Positive, Whatever That Means For You
People who feel good about themselves do not engage in self-shaming when it comes to their sex lives, nor do they sacrifice their own needs or boundaries in order to satisfy others. Instead, they know that sex is a healthy impulse and an intensely individual choice, and they treat it as they would any other aspect of their personal well-being.
Self-love tip: Evaluate your needs and boundaries, and then tell yourself they're valid no matter what your partner or anyone else thinks. Remind yourself of this often.